Looking back at 2017 (and first half of 2018)

It really starts to bug me that every time I open my wordpress account I draft a post, don’t publish it, and then it stays in the drafts forever. This post has actually been sitting in my drafts folder for over 6 months now.

 

Girls

I wasn’t doing a lot of daygame in 2017, and after going out for two weeks last summer I stopped it almost completely. For some reason, the fact that I wasn’t fucking anybody just stopped bugging me that hard. And as there was no itch, I had very little motivation to go out.

I did get two near-misses though, and nexted several girls who were obviously interested, but not with the let-me-grab-your-dick-right-now kind of enthusiasm. Looking back at it, I must admit it was stupid. Some of them were yes girls who just needed more comfort, and I was applying my uncaring asshole game instead and seeing if they’d stick. They didn’t.

Thus, in terms of girls, I’ve had exactly 0 new lays in 2017. Worst year since I’ve started daygame. And as of July 2018, nothing has changed, but I wasn’t really trying. Except for the gold digger. And as this story has revealed, my frame still sucks balls.

 

Career

However, I’ve spent the freed up energy elsewhere. For most of 2017 I’ve been working crazy hours at the office, and now I’m on track to make roughly $350K in 2018. With a generous 13% flat tax rate, this is so much money I’ll have trouble finding ways to spend it if this goes on for several more years. Seriously, I remember times when I used to live on $2000 a year. Thus, I can say that I’ve more or less won the game of money in this life, and what’s left now is to make sure it doesn’t consume me and become an end in itself.

There is a part that’s bugging me though that’s hard to put into words. Looking at where I’m at, most of my peers will get envious. I’m a tech manager responsible for a product that’s used by millions, I’m known in the community, I have a team of 80 brilliant engineers most of whom genuinely admire me (and to some of whom I’m basically serving as a masculine father figure they’ve never had), and I’m making some very good money. I should be happy, right?

This is what I wrote about it at the end of 2017:

Well, I can’t say I’m happy, and I’m not seeing how this could change in the future. I will be making more money, that’s for sure. My team will grow, as will my responsibilities. But is it worth putting 60 hr/week into it for several more years? I doubt it. My job has somehow devoured my life, and I don’t think this is healthy. Seriously, most of the days I come home so squeezed out that I just lie down and watch some mindless shit on youtube. Is this how success looks? I bet no.

And now as I’m writing this I’ve just realized that this way of life has become a habit for me, and while I’m not happy, I do feel comfortable with the way things are. I really need to change that. You know, delegate more, and then don’t let the new areas that pop up to creep up on my freed-up time.

As of July 2018, the plan to delegate is more or less working out. I’ve stopped working on weekends, and sometimes I have enough energy in the evenings to do what I want.

And I have also started some side gigs. If everything goes as planned, I’ll get to net worth of several million in five years, and from there life gets way easier as I could have an option not to work for the rest of my life without sacrificing my current lifestyle. As always, it might not work out. Right now I should just cast aside all doubts and press on.

 

The rest

I’ve also finally received my driver’s license in 2017. This is nothing to be proud of actually, as I’ve been postponing it forever, until I suddenly discovered I was 29 and didn’t know how to drive. It’s one thing when you’re 19, but at 29 this is a major DLV. Or at least that’s the way I saw it. So the good part is that now I can fuck chicks in my car. Not like I’ve tried it, but I do like having the freedom to do it.

What else?

In these 1.5 years I’ve become a much more open and relaxed person, and people around have noticed. One of my acquaintances even told me that when he talked to me three years ago I’ve left an impression of a conceited snob, totally contrary to who I am now. Doh! I guess the more real value you have, the easier it gets to shed the fake maladaptive badassery that the PUA world teaches you to adopt, and the smugness borne out of a need of your ego to protect you from the harsh truth that you’re not the person you want to be.

And as everything in life, this is very ironic. You start low value, struggle, find some tricks that seem to work, integrate them into your life. And they do seem to work! You suddenly start going on dates with girls one or two SMV points above you, and sometimes even fuck them (not my case, but I guess I wasn’t putting enough effort into it). “This shit is like magic!” is what you think, without realizing that this magic isn’t coming for free and you’re still paying the price, just not in obvious ways. Faking till you make it works, but it is important to remember what the process is:

  1. At first, you are faking it. People will notice, and this is the first part of the price you’re paying.
  2. You work your ass off, put in the work required, and make it. This is the second part of the price.
  3. Once you make it, it is important to stop faking.

Some people get stuck at (1). Some people make it, but never complete the 3rd step. The irony? Remove (1) & (3) and suddenly the process gets waaay simpler while retaining the core part of putting in the work. The reality is more complex though, as the longer way looks and feels easier.

 

Promises (not) kept

Re-reading my post from early 2017, I can see that not everything went as planned. I didn’t do much daygame in 2017. I remember how in 2016 after five weeks of daygame I suddenly started feeling as if the life I was living wasn’t my own. I have a feeling that I was onto something back then, and I really want to go down that rabbit hole. This is a plan for the rest of 2018.

I did start taking better care of myself, pretty much as planned. I sleep on schedule, turn up at the office early, work out 3x a week (but I do skip workouts from time to time though), do minor exercises almost every morning, eat healthy, adjust my supplements based on bloodwork. Re-reading this, I almost want to say “good boy!” to myself!

And financially everything has played out even better than I was hoping for. Hopefully I’ll finally buy an apartment in one of the skyscrapers in central Moscow this year. Always wanted to live on the 50th floor.

Regarding the “big picture” part that I’ve written about, nothing has really changed. I’m still not even close to making science fiction that I was reading as a kid a reality, and it’s not like I’m working on it. Moreover, my current plans for the next 5-10 years look very mundane. If everything works out, in 10 years I’ll be a millionaire happily married to a young nerdy girl, raising our kids, taking care of our elders, just like a normal person. It saddens me to write that, but what I’ve always wanted was to be normal. You know, fall in love, have a healthy relationship, have kids. It’s when the “healthy relationship” part failed to materialize for far too long that I’ve started this detour into game, human nature, career, money, validation sex, and other sins of modern society, in the process forgetting the reason I started it all.

It is childish to a degree. I remember when I was a kid how I would throw a tantrum if my parents were to deny me a toy that I really wanted. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t, and I would lie down in bed crying, thinking how I wanted an escape from this. Well, I’ve grown up, parents were no longer in the picture, but this time life itself has denied me what I wanted. My reaction? “Fuck you, I don’t even need these stupid relationships, I’ll just fuck my way though as many girls as I’d want to, and I’ll do it in spite of all the rules you’ve put up, fuck the rules, fuck the value hierarchies, fuck the feelings of other people, I’m stronger than that, I’ll find a way around, I have PUA magic at my disposal, I’ll show you how wrong you are!” Does that look like a sound reasoning of a well-developed adult to you? Neither it does to me.

I’m coming full circle. Was there ever an option not to take the detour? I don’t think there was, at least not for me. And I haven’t come full circle yet, I still want to fuck my way through enough girls to get tired of it!

 

Plans for the rest of 2018

This post is getting way too long. So just some bullet points:

  • Do some real daygame, see what lies beyond the “this life I’m living doesn’t feel like my own” line. Get more notches. And actually start doing the shit Yohami’s recommending. Though I might not be able to squeeze the latter part into the 5 months I have left.
  • Continue cutting down on work, but make sure my career doesn’t take much of a hit. This is going to be very difficult.
  • Spend enough time on my side gigs so that they take off.
  • Buy an apartment. Unlikely to happen this year, but I’ll try.

There’s not much time left.

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My time with a gold digger

One sunny afternoon Vlad was sitting happily in a restaurant that is locally known as the sluthouse #1 in Moscow. On some evenings it’s packed with girls in 7+ range so tightly that you wonder if this is the pussy paradise you’ve been looking for all along, only to be disappointed later when you approach a girl sitting at the next table, and she introduces herself as Venera. I mean, come on, did your mother give you that name? Be a little bit more subtle in your whoring ways, girl!

Anyway, the mood was right, and I decided to give a call to a girl I’ve known for two years who we were kind of friends with. Let’s call her Sofia. Some background on her:

  • My friend approached her on the street around three years ago, they did go to several dates, but never fucked.
  • As she was a fun person to be around, he kept her as a friend, and that’s how I got to know her.
  • She’s a lazy bum & a college dropout.
  • She’s working as a model, but contracts are rare, and this isn’t bringing in much cash, so she’s looking for a rich guy to settle with.
  • As she has no real work, she has tons of free time.
  • Some of my friends say she’s a genuine 9 on the Russian scale, which is pretty much as high as one can get in the looks department. And she’s also very feminine.
  • Oh, and some Russian oligarch is paying her bills right now and is fucking her several times a year. Note that she still doesn’t know that I know this.

Quite a mess, right? Well, guess what your humble servant Vlad did? Yeah, you guessed it right.

So I talked to her and somehow invited her to stay at my place for a week. I still have no idea how it worked out from “how have you been” to “I’ll be waiting for you at 9pm at my place”. So I thought, OK, that’s the worst possible combo for seduction, but I will still try. As Nash likes to point out, I want skin in the game, even if it’s a game of seducing a girl who’s been doing nothing in her whole life but getting wooed by HSMV men.

In case the brutal insanity of the undertaking hasn’t dawned on you yet, remember that (1) I’m firmly in the friend-zone with this girl, (2) there is another utlra-rich asshole in the picture fucking her, and (3) she’s looking for a hubby to jump cock.

 

First week together

So she moved in and we went to sleep. In the following days I just started running my usual jerkboy game, and after taking her to a fancy restaurant on day 4 tried to kiss her at home. My calibrating was saying the chances of landing that kiss were low, but I still tried even if only to send a message. She turned away and started giving me shit:

Her: Vlad, you know, we really cannot have an affair.

Me: Why?

Her: Because I cannot move to your place!

Me: W…What????

Her: Yes, I know this sounds weird at this point, but this is how it works for me…

Me: Well, you can sleep in the kitchen if you want to. I’ll even place a cabinet for your stuff here. Besides, there is no better place for a woman!

Her: Ahaha, Vlad, you know this won’t work out.

So this obviously didn’t work out, and we just went to sleep.

Next day I went to a dancing event before going home, spent 30min dancing and getting pumped up with positive emotions, and then headed home. She was already there, and it was time for some reframing:

Me: You know, my colleagues asked me why I’m leaving at 8pm today, and not working my usual 12h-day. I bet they suspect something.

Her: Mmm… Like what?

Me: Like you? I actually told one of them that I have a forbidden affair waiting for me at home, and he was like “oh come on, we’re working 70h weeks here and he’s having an affair? wtf???”

Her: Ahaha [melts, accepts the “we’re having a forbidden affair” frame]

So we went to another restaurant, had some fun there, I played with jerkboy-style storytelling, then headed home. The vibe was great, and when in bed I just got on top of her and started kissing her. She was still resisting. I wasn’t ready to push it further, so I just went to sleep.

 

More dates & switching into a proper frame

I had to leave Moscow for a week after that, and wasn’t really communicating much with her. Apparently, that left her wondering if I was really into her, and on our next date she was giving me shit non-stop. Just some examples for you to enjoy:

Her: I don’t think this is working out.

Her: Why did we even switch from being friends into this?

Her: I don’t feel you’re sincere with me.

Her: We have no future together.

Imagine having this poured on you for two hours non-stop. Can be pretty frame-crushing, especially if executed by a pro who’s been on more dates than you and all your friends combined. And it was frame-crushing, I must admit.

So after that date I was sitting at home thinking what to do about it, and realized I needed to adjust my frame in our interactions. I basically had to change my attitude from:

1. I like you, you like me, let’s see where this leads.

To:

2. I like you. You may kick and scream, but I’ll carry you though this, and in the end, you will thank me. [quoted almost verbatim from Fight Club]

Note how in (2) there are no options for the girl to choose from. It was actually pretty fun to see how easy it was to make an internal switch from (1) to (2), and how drastic was the change in Sofia’s reaction.

Looking at what Yohami teaches at Nash’s blog, this is basically a switch that brings one closer to a top guy frame:

…top guys don’t interact in this way, so the ‘now you decide girl’ is a tell that she’s dealing with a bottom guy, so it’s an invitation for her to pull the brakes and do a shit test, set a wall, play hard to get etc.

After I made that switch, we’ve had our first real enthusiastic makeout. And the shit tests above suddenly became very easy to handle. It’s almost as if I’ve traded my +1 tattered cloth for +5 plate mail of shit test deflection. After having another dinner together we got in my car and I drove us to my place.

Her: Where are we going?

Me: To my place.

Her: And what are we gonna do?

Me: Drink tea, eat desserts, and kiss. [we still haven’t kissed at this point]

Her: You sure?

Me: Absolutely.

Her: Oh, OK.

And we did kiss that evening. As simple as that.

 

An elephant on a leash

What followed was 7 or so dates of me trying to figure out how to fuck this girl.

No big realizations, except that at some point she flat out told me that she needed to talk to me at least once a day for “emotional support”, and I never thought this might be important. I always considered calling a girl for no real reason every day a sign of neediness, but with Sofia these little chats have actually brought us closer together. And this “avoiding showing neediness” behavior is actually deeply rooted in my past, as I used to be very needy. The truth is as always very simple. If you’re not needy, then calling whenever the fuck you want is OK. If you’re needy, then it will seep through your every interaction, and carefully scheduling your calls won’t help.

And this is very ironic if you think about it. I used to be very LSMV, so I needed all the tricks & clutches to boost my perceived value to get at least some chance with the ladies. Now I’m HSMV, but I still cling to my old ways, which is obviously counterproductive. Pretty much like a millionaire stressing out because of missing a sale that could have saved him $50. And I bet I still have other places in my life where I unknowingly hang onto my old ways “because they worked before” while in truth the new me doesn’t even need them.

 

Making another switch, and failing

But back to the seven dates that followed. I was trying to figure out how to fuck her and she was giving me shit about how “there’s not enough rainbows & unicorns in our affair.” Meaning I don’t invest enough, I’m not giving her gifts, and not taking her to the Bahamas for a weekend. And while I technically could have done all of that, and it’s not like it would have made a dent in my budget, I really didn’t want to move into transactional sex territory with her.

It was quite surreal at times, as I’ve never had anything like this happen with any of the girls I’ve been with. Just imagine, we’re in my bed kissing, she’s all over me, but then I put my hand on her pussy, and it works as an on/off switch — she closes down, refuses to kiss me, and starts giving shit. Quite frustrating!

Besides, listening to her and giving her what she wants because that would mean sex would be like serving her my balls on a silver platter. I mean, look at these two scenarios:

I take a girl on a weekend trip to Italy because I like her, I want to spend time with her, and I want to show her the world.

vs

I take a girl on a weekend trip to Italy because she told me that she might put out if I do.

The difference here is the difference between a guy in a healthy relationship and a pussy-whipped sap being milked for resources.

So I decided it was time to do another switch and just push against her LMR. The switch was from:

I’ll lead you to sex in a way that is comfortable for you.

To:

Today we fuck, and I don’t give a shit how that makes you feel right now, I know you’ll feel good in the morning.

But as I have found out, I didn’t make the switch completely. She saw that, and it didn’t work out. The make or break moment was somewhere here:

[I’m on top of her, and she’s already tried everything to talk me out of it]

Her: You’re not giving me what I want, thus you don’t really care about me, thus I don’t think there are feelings.

Me: Bullshit.

[I stop instead of continuing to press on, seconds pass]

Her: So what are we doing here? What is your goal?

Me: Looking whether you’d get tired resisting, or I get tired of you. [Aaargh! Bottom guy speaking!]

Her: Oh really? Where did all your resolve go? [Now that’s a nuclear shit test deployed with 100% accuracy]

It went downhill from there. Several moments later I let her get up, she went to the bathroom, and made up her mind to leave.

Her: I’m leaving. You do realize it’s over? [she was visibly very angry at this point]

Me: We’ll see.

Her: There is nothing to see, it’s not working out.

Me: Your choice.

Her: Oh god. And you won’t even call me.

Me: Maybe when I’m drunk.

Her: On mojito? It doesn’t work like that with you.

Me: Yeah, it doesn’t.

She told me some more about how she doesn’t believe a man will start investing more after sex if he wasn’t before, which kind of betrays her outlook on relationships in general. At that point I was already in “I just hate this whore” state, so I didn’t bother to argue. “She wants to leave? Well, she can get the fuck out!” was what I was thinking pulling out my phone and getting her a cab.

Her: What are you doing?

Me: Getting you a cab.

Her: I can do that myself.

Me: Yes, you can.

Her: Then why are you doing that?

Me: “Why???” Like you don’t know. Because I want you to get home in comfort.

Her: Then why can’t you also do these other things I’m asking for??? [she was almost screaming at this point, this was obviously a very emotionally charged topic for her]

She left with a face of a girl who was about to cry. She probably cried in the cab.

Writing all of this down, I regret I don’t have a mic installed in my apartment on permanent recording, so that I could have listened to our conversation and looked again at what went wrong.

 

What of it

With this girl I’ve witnessed firsthand how a change in frame can affect the girl’s reaction. It’s one thing when you see it with different girls, and a totally different one when you switch to another frame and suddenly the same girl starts reacting very differently. It really does open one’s eyes.

And then I also got another punch in the face in regards to what my usual frame is. There’s a lot to work on here, and I’ll write more posts on that.

 

Update

And now that the heat of the moment isn’t clouding my reason anymore, I can see more or less clearly where my mistakes were. Mistake #1: going for this girl in the first place. Mistake #2: banging against walls all the time, even though this girl was very unambiguous in pointing out where the door was.

“The difference here is the difference between a guy in a healthy relationship and a pussy-whipped sap being milked for resources???” Oh really? Sounds like a rationalization to me! The truth is as always the same. If you’re not a pussy-whipped sap, then nothing you do can turn you into one. It’s all about frame. Even though it’s true that I would prefer to be offered sex for who I am, and not for what I can provide.

What to improve: well, stop banging against walls. “Going for the kiss just to send a message” is nothing to be proud of.

And I miscalibrate again!

Me, texting a girl.

I’m one hell of a lazy bum. I have like 10 posts perpetually in my drafts folder and never proceed to actually clean them up and post.

And as I really want to return to semi-regular posting, I though it might make sense to document the smaller stuff that’s happening in my life, and the ‘aha’ moments it’s triggering. Writing helps cement the lessons after all.

So around three weeks ago I approached a cute little six while I was on my way to the dentist’s. She happened to be a 19yo freshman learning software engineering, which is in a way unusual — cute girls rarely turn to STEM fields. We had some banter, and I took her number. Next day we went to have some tea at one of the higher-end restaurants in Moscow, and it was very on. And when she was sending kiss-me signals I didn’t kiss her. Lost my grip on Game, I guess. I feel that was a very important point in the date as she closed up a little bit right after that.

So for the next three weeks she was busy with her exams. I pinged her three times, to no avail. And our last text exchange totally didn’t go as planned:

Me: Hey, still studying?

Her: Hi, yep

Me: Well that’s terrible

Me: You’re gonna turn into a behind-the-stove nerd like that [that was a wordplay on a Russian stable expression which can be roughly translated as ‘behind-the-stove cockroach’]

Me: I’m gonna be in Moscow this weekend, and then will leave on another business trip

Me: If you don’t have exams I’m taking you out =)

[no reply for a day]

Me: Like writing to Kremlin

Her: What a comparison, this is too much

[Me thinking to myself: Well, this deteriorated quickly. And this is the first girl who didn’t turn all giggly at this joke!]

I have no idea what to do at this point. I guess I should just let this girl go.

So. Let’s break this all down. What I did wrong:

  • Should have kissed her when there was an opening. I bet this would have made things easier.
  • Should have remembered that she’s a damn six and I’m two SMV points above her. Thus teasing that works on sevens & eights will only trigger negativity in this girl.
  • Did I say the message # ratio is all wrong?
  • I really like the walls-openings model as presented by Yohami on Riv’s/Nash’s blogs. So what really happened in this text exchange was pretty simple. I asked her out, she presented a wall, I rubbed against it awkwardly. Proper reply would’ve been something along the lines of “your perseverance never ceases to amaze me” coupled with some words of encouragement.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a knack for fucking things up. Really. Can you do any better in terms of fuckups per message? Given the bullet points above I have a ratio of about 0.6, try beating that!

More posts will follow. I promise.

Two non-approaches at the airport

I’ve just returned from T. to Moscow today, and having missed several approach opportunities I’m thinking I should just write down what I could have done there so that I don’t freeze in place next time I run into a similar situation.

 

First one

I was entering the baggage claim area of SVO, and I saw her. A cute slim brunette wearing a very revealing pair of shorts sitting in a coffee shop. I stopped there checking her out, trying to figure out how old was she, and apparently she’s taken notice. I wasn’t sure if she was young enough, so I didn’t approach right away (which was AA BSing me into not approaching), and then after walking around for some time waiting for my baggage, it was already kind of late to approach, I couldn’t come up with a decent opener, and thus I didn’t open her (which was again due to AA and nothing else).

Seriously though, something situational should have worked just fine:

Me: Hey, how’s coffee here?

Her: Good. [This is where I could have gauged her reaction]

Me: Then I’m going to grab a cup. You look surprisingly relaxed sitting here when everybody else’s running around looking for their luggage.

Her: …

 

Second one

The second one I’ve noticed in the baggage claim area. She was talking on the phone, apparently having arrived with her mother, who was looking out for their luggage at the transportation belt. I’m not super comfortable approaching girls 10 years my junior when their mother is around, but I had an opening with this girl while she was away from her mother looking for her friend. I didn’t jump on it, and the opportunity was lost. How I could have opened her?

Me: Hey, wait a second. [Stop her first]

Her: ???

Me: You’re likely the most beautiful girl in the whole airport. You’re not from around here, are you? [That’s me trying A3->C1 transition right away, but I really can’t think of anything better]

Her: [Either complies or refuses to go into C1]

This way it’s pretty much just flipping a stone, but it’s still better than doing nothing.

Hardcore Daygame 2017 Week 3

So I’ve been out daygaming for quite some time already, and got 0 bangs thus far. Seriously, this shit is starting to make me question my skillz!

In terms of daygame these past two weeks were actually quite chill. I’ve spent a week outside of Moscow doing almost no daygame (three approaches in 7 days, two of them ending with me ejecting because I didn’t fancy the girl), and mostly enjoying the sun and taking pictures for my Instagram account instead, which I plan to leverage as a DHV in online game. Which might not be a good idea given that in the past month I haven’t advanced past Day 1 even once. And given my mathematical background and a propensity to connect the dots even when I better not, this worrisome consistency is really starting to trouble me.

Anyway, before I go into full whining, here are some stats for the past two weeks:

  • One proper daygame session, and some approaches here and there.
  • 11 approaches, with me ejecting in 3 of them without asking for the number.
  • 2 numbers, both numbers from cute 6+ girls, one of them working as a model. Thus 25% efficiency. Not bad. Oh, and one Facebook from a cute 18yo schoolgirl with a boyfriend.
  • Shot down twice, both approaches in metro. My view on the Moscow metro as the worst daygame venue possible is cementing quickly.
  • Had one very positive idate, but the girl was in Moscow only for three days, and I couldn’t schedule a date with her.
  • One date with one of the girls I’ve met on Week 1.

Also checked out yet another club, but didn’t do any approaches there (even though I did see some decent targets). My nightgame sucks balls.

Ok, on to describe some of the stuff that happened.

 

Tinder

I was on Tinder the whole time since early August, opening it up more or less regularly. I swipe only the really beautiful girls there, and so far got exactly zero dates out of it. I have a pretty streamlined operations, with the conversation usually going as follows:

Me: Hey! You look gorgeous!

Her: Thanks!

Me: How about I invite you for a cup of tea?

Her: Sounds good.

Me: Tell me your number.

Her: +7 XYZ ABCDEFG.

I’m not a text game pro, so I don’t even try to text on Tinder. Besides, given the usual reply times I get, chatting would mean me having to constantly be on the phone throughout my day, and I usually have important shit to do. So the funnel on Tinder looks like this:

  • Roughly 10 matches.
  • Six of these replied to the compliment.
  • Three gave their numbers. This one I’m seriously failing to comprehend. Like, I’m inviting a girl for tea, she’s all “oh great”, I ask for her number, and… silence!
  • Two actually cared to pick up the phone. In the 3rd case I didn’t care to call right away, and this was probably the problem.
  • One I invited on a date, and she flaked.
  • The second one I planned to invite later, and three days after the first call (which was super positive with her turning into a giggling mess) she didn’t pick up the phone and didn’t care to call back.

The total lack of progress here and the look of the funnel makes me think that some of the girls are on Tinder just fishing for Instagram followers. And given that the girls I’m after already have their follower counts in the thousands (the one I invited had 25K), I’m thinking they’re getting so much validation that their value in their own eyes is sky-high. So pursuing them is probably a lost cause, but I’ll continue trying once I get myself a flashier Instagram account sorted.

Another option would probably be DMing on Instagram, but I’m failing to see how this will work on girls with tens of thousands of followers. Maybe I’m just expecting way too much from online game.

 

What to work on

I was also thinking a lot about the areas I need to improve given the real life feedback I got from the recent approaches and (a lack of) dates, and the rough list is actually quite long:

  1. My approaches rely on the girl liking me, and I never even try to turn around the sets that don’t go well from the start. In MM terms it means that I’m always starting from A3, and then jump right into C1. Here is a breakdown of Krauser’s game by YaReally on RM, and it seems I’m just doing the same thing. I’m tall, muscular, dressed better than 99% of other men, and this gives me a huge advantage in the field. And then I just flip the stones with my usual “you look good” A3 opener, and see if the girl hooks. I don’t do any game in nightclubs, and I must admit I don’t feel very comfortable there. That’s a lot to work on.
  2. My communication still sucks. If on a date the girl doesn’t actively participate and throw in new topics, I tend to run out of material, and the communication dies down. I didn’t have this happen for quite some time, but I do remember it happening on one occasion several months ago.
  3. I don’t lead the conversation into rapport- and tension-building topics. In most cases it happens anyway, but then sometimes it doesn’t.
  4. I’m still not fully relaxed on dates and not jumping naturally on opportunities as they present themselves. E.g. I usually don’t go for the kiss when the girl is 10 cm away from my face looking at my lips, and while it might make logical sense (bad logistics => no point in kissing & heavy kino, or we’ve met only 1 hour earlier and her forebrain might not like going for the kiss that soon), I’m usually hesitating not out of logic, but because I’m simply afraid.
  5. I’m acting needy from time to time. Like following up a call that a girl didn’t pick up with a text.

I’m thinking I can deal with #1 doing more night game, #2 and #3 would require more practice on dates (and probably asking some of my friends who are good at it to take a mic on one of their dates). #4 would require going into the area where I totally lack any experience (and thus calibration). And #5 would require applying some discipline.

So, what is actionable:

  1. Check out how other dudes do night game. Having a plan is better than having none.
  2. Do nightgame.
  3. Check out how PUAs turn around bad sets.
  4. Try turning a daygame set around.
  5. Buy a microphone so that I could record my sets / dates and see what can be improved.

I’ll get back in a week or two.

Hardcore Daygame 2017 Week 1

So I decided to do another hardcore daygame streak this year. A little bit too late, should have started in April, but late is better than never.

First, this week’s stats:

  • 5 daygame sessions, mostly 2-3 hours long.
  • 21 approaches. In 7 of those I ejected without asking for the number as the girls weren’t cute enough. Thus 14 “real” approaches.
  • 6 numbers. Four of those from 7+ girls, one of which was miss Uryupinsk contest winner (a city of 500K, name changed). That’s 42% efficiency among the girls I genuinely fancied. Not bad.
  • I was shot down only one or two times. The rest of non-numbers were due to the girls having husbands or boyfriends. Most of the chats were very warm and girls were genuinely happy about my approach.
  • One of the numbers I got happened to be from a whore (judging by her whatsapp picture). I’m thinking of messaging her with something along the lines of “you have some spicy pics here”, and maybe I’ll get a discount…
  • I called four girls, none of them cared to pick up the phone or call/message back. I’m all WTF about this. I seriously don’t remember having such low efficiency.
  • Went on 0 dates.

I also checked out one club and several bars. Could have made some approaches in the club, but AA took me. And didn’t see any worthy girls in the three bars I’ve visited. I still remember how one 7+ girl was eyeballing me to the point of giving me an erection while her BF was buying her drinks though…

OK, on to describe one of the approaches.

 

An Old Friend

I was taking a stroll on Kamergersky as I saw two cuties, a blonde and a brunette, walking towards me, totally immersed in their chick-chat. The blonde was kind of cute, the brunette a little bit chubby, so after hesitating for a moment I turned around and followed them. And then I realized that the brunette looks really familiar. She was wearing sunglasses, which made things harder, but my gut was telling me that I knew her.

I hesitated some more and approached them. Brunette opened me first.

Brunette: Vlad!

Me: Valentina!

Brunette: What a surprise! What are you doing here Vlad? Girl-hunting again?

Me: [I totally wasn’t expecting this shit test] I’m here with a friend, meeting another one of my friends. And you?

Brunette: Just walking around, as you can see. Why haven’t you been in touch?

[Some more shit tests and chit chat followed, and then I dropped this bomb]

Me: You know, you have a really beautiful friend. [Looking at blonde] What’s your name?

Blonde: Thank you! I’m Katya.

Just to give you some context, I have approached Valentina in metro some 3 years ago, went on several dates with her, got her to my apartment, but after 4 hours of LMR (with her rubbing against my manhood vigorously) decided to give up. We weren’t really in touch for the last 2 years.

So this bomb has really triggered her, and what followed was a barrage of shit tests. To quote a few:

Brunette: Have you always been bald? I don’t remember. I think you look better this way.

Me: [with a shit-eating grin] Is it that you give so little fucks about me that you don’t even remember how my hair looked?

This one wasn’t handled well, as the content of my answer sounds butthurt. I delivered it very playfully, but I do believe I could have handled it better. Something along the lines of “and I thought you had good memory” would have worked better.

Brunette: I’ve gotten a little fat these days.

Me: Well, getting lean is easy, you just don’t eat.

Brunette: Doh! Just finished another doughnut. And you Vlad haven’t changed at all, still just as skinny.

Me: I have actually put on some 5 kilos since we’ve last met.

Brunette: And where are those 5 kilos?

Me: [with a shit-eating grin] In all the important places.

[They both laugh]

This one also wasn’t handled that well. Maybe “too bad I’m not into doughnuts” (with a sad face) could have worked better.

Brunette: No, I’m not giving up my friends for you to hire them.

Me: And why is that?

Brunette: They’re mostly self-employed, and it is waaaaay better than working for someone else.

Me: Depends on what you do. If you’re freelancing, then [my company] pays way better. Same goes for small business.

Brunette: Believe me, working for someone else is the worst.

Me: It really depends. [I switch topic, unfazed]

This one I really don’t know how to handle. I didn’t want to spill the beans in front of these two and tell them I’m clearing quarter mil a year at my company while their sucker friends are likely living on $2-3K per month, so I just switched the topic.

Brunette: [as I’m taking phone # of her friend] What’s that? An iPhone 5?

Me: It’s 5s actually.

Brunette: Why are you carrying around this piece of antiquity?

Me: It serves me well, see no reason to upgrade.

Brunette: What serves well is iPhone 7 Plus. It has a waaay better camera.

Me: I’m not really using a camera. What for?

Brunette: For selfies of course.

Me: I don’t take them.

Brunette: Well, you should.

Me: [eye roll]

I guess I could have said I’m against pointless consumerism, but that sounds somewhat tryhard. So again, I see no better way to handle this one.

The bad part? The blonde is not even that cute. I checked out her FB and she looks a little bit chubby. Still, I’m thinking I should try to fuck her just to mess with Valentina.

 

Plans

Well, apparently there’s still a lot to work on for me. My problems as I see them right now:

  • I’m not very good in making small talk with girls. I sometimes catch myself not pursuing some topics and not asking personal questions because deep down I don’t think I have the right to. Seriously. And it’s so automatic I’m not even noticing it.
  • I’m not very emotional on dates and during approaches, and I guess this confuses some of the girls. They can see I want them (otherwise they wouldn’t be shying away and giggling like crazy), but my bet is that my automatism makes them uneasy. The best part? I know how to deal with it. I did practice expressing my genuine adoration several times, and it worked wonders. Just need to do it more.

But. To fix these points I need more dates, which I’m having none right now. Oh daygame gods, grant me luck.

 

Cockblock Short Stories

I… just love Google Image Search

#1

I was out daygaming in Moscow metro recently, and the quality I was seeing was truly disappointing. Seriously, after taking several numbers from sexy 6+ girls in one of the Moscow malls, I felt as if I’ve just descended into the Underdark. After half-assing through several approaches to borderline plain Janes, I decided to go to Oktyabrskaya station as that’s the place where girls normally get out for a walk in Gorky park.

One or two more approaches followed, with me ejecting because the girls just weren’t cute enough. What I have noticed in the process is that approaches in metro are more difficult than anywhere else (and I used to love metro!). Girls are less receptive (as they’re usually in a hurry), it’s hard to talk because of all the noise, so if you want to be heard you have to either lean in or talk very loudly. Either way, you’ll look tryhard. And even if you’re the best dressed man on the station, the simple fact that you’re approaching her in metro is a DLV.

Anyway, after 20 minutes at Oktyabrskaya I was starting to get pissed at the quality the Daygame Gods were throwing at me. And then I saw her, a slim brunette 7 in tight jeans with long lustrous hair. Overfilled with joy by this sudden blessing, I followed her with a big smile on my face.

To my surprise, I wasn’t the only one to notice her, and as I was getting close, I spotted two guys right behind her who were obviously talking about her. Then one of them separated, and another one started to close in. “DA FUCK! I’m not letting this happen”, was what I thought when I jumped right in front of the poor guy and opened the girl before he could realize what was going on. She was in a bitch mood and nothing came out of it.

Still, imagine how it looked for this guy. You daygame in metro with your wing, and suddenly a really beautiful girl appears. You have pretty bad AA, but your wing talks you into approaching. It takes every ounce of willpower to make your first step towards her. And then, as you’re closing in, finally resolved to open her, some random dude jumps right past you and opens her in your place. And you were so close! WTF just happened???

I took great delight in this.

 

#2

I was walking around the Gorky park, enjoying myself and not really planning to do any daygame. Thinking about some stuff at work, my PUA pattern recognizer suddenly picked up on a dialogue that was taking place almost in front of me.

Nice guy: Come on, maybe this is your chance for a happy future, and you’re giving up on it like that.

Tall brunette: Yeah… I really don’t think that’s what it is…

Nice guy: [Some more BS that I don’t even remember]

And then I realized that the brunette was there with another girl who was following right behind, obviously thinking hard of how to rescue her friend from this unfortunate predicament. I remembered that I’ve seen both girls before, but filtered them out as not cute enough. And as I was about to leave them be, looking at the second girl with a shade of sympathy on my face, she noticed me and something clicked in her. As I was to discover 10 seconds later, she’s finally devised a rescue plan.

Tiny blonde: See what’s happening here?

Me: Yeah, I do think they’re a good match.

Tiny blonde: Come on! Actually, she liked you, how about you save her from this creep?

Me: Oh come on, she’ll miss her chance for happiness.

Tiny blonde: [grabs her friend by the arm] Look, you two need to get to know each other. Her name is Tanya.

[Nice guy ejects]

Me: I’m Vlad.

Tiny blonde: Cool. You know, we’ve noticed you before and Tanya thought you were kind of cool.

Me: Oh, I see where this is going… I’m sorry, but I’m taken.

Tiny blonde: Well, you still can go on a date with her.

Me: …aaaand I have dates like this queued for the next 20 years or so, so I don’t think this will work.

Tiny blonde: [speechless]

Both girls were at most 5s on the scale. The guy was likely totally devastated.

I took great delight in this.

LTR Text Game

These days I’m too busy chasing skirt and making $$$ to actually post anything here, but from time to time I do have episodes of alpha badassery that are short and totally worth sharing.

So here is a recent text exchange with my ex-LTR who happened to have to move out of Russia around a month ago but is still pretty much into me.

Me: Suddenly Niagara Falls!

[photo of niagara falls]

Her: Come on, “suddenly”!

[1.5 hours later]

Me: I was expecting a different answer

Her: Like this one?

Her: You asshole 😀

Her: Of course it’s beautiful

Her: Very beautiful

Her: I’d like to be there

[20 minutes later]

Me: Different

Her: What kind?

Me: 😀 😀 😀

Her: All my guesses were wrong?

Me: Yeah

Me: You can do better

Her: Like what?

Me: “Suddenly tits!”

Her: Ahaha 😀

Her: With a photo?

Her: :]

Me: Don’t know if there even exists a better answer

Her: Forget what I’ve written before

Her: Aaaand… here they are!

[photo of her tits]

[more irrelevant text follows]

 

[several hours later]

Me: [some random photo of a scenery I’m enjoying]

Her: I was expecting a photo of your erection 😀

Me: [random photo from google of a guy coming all over a glass table]

Her: Looks like sperm

Her: And legs of some chick 😀

Me: 😀 😀 😀

[her hamster goes hyperdrive, and 20 minutes later she cannot hold it anymore]

Her: I didn’t hear the original interpretation

Her: Of what’s on that photo

Her: 😀

Her: I can see a high heel

Her: Who the fuck is this girl? 😀

Me: Just some random pic from Google 😀 😀 😀

Her: Oh you 😀 …

 

This is a ex-LTR, so text game is easy. Still, pay attention to the pauses, to the amount of text she’s sending, and to that hamsterspin I’ve sent her into with that last picture.

New Year Status Update

snegurochka

Happy New Year!

It’s January 2017, and a time for the end-of-the-year post.

2016 was a tough year for me, yet I’m confident to say it was also the best year of my life so far. I have achieved a lot, cleaned up a lot of clutter that’s been sitting in my head for a long time, banged several new girls, and started to see a bigger picture for my life. The plans for 2017 are even more ambitious.

 

Girls

First, the girls part. I had only 3 new lays this year. The first one was a very plain co-worker, who I shouldn’t have fucked at all. I remember bringing her home, throwing her on the bed, removing her dress and saying to myself something along the lines of “Oh my fucking God!” There was no turning back at this point though, and since we worked at the same company, I had to fuck her some more afterwards. In the end, after realizing I’m not down for anything but a good fuck once every two weeks, she dumped me, and I felt relieved. There’s really nothing to be proud of here, but I guess I needed this experience to understand that some girls are better left unfucked.

The second one was a nerdy law student I met in August. A cute 21yo who was totally crazy in bed. Unfortunately, in November she decided to put on some more fat, and this was totally turning me off. So after another good fuck I simply stopped calling her.

The third one was a really beautiful seven that I’m still fucking. In terms of the overall qualities I care for in a non-monogamous LTR girl, she’s the best one I’ve ever been with. Very caring, cooks well, does great massages, takes really good care of herself, and, well, looks gorgeous, both dressed and undressed. She’s not super smart though, and this got me thinking.

The most pleasant relationships I’ve ever had were with average IQ girls. These girls seem to perfectly understand that what they’re bringing to the table is looks, sex, and feminine energy, and work hard at maximizing these. Smart girls try to use their smarts as a selling point, but the problem is that, first, I’m still way smarter, and second, for me smarts always come second to their looks and femininity.

This is somewhat worrisome, as I do want to have smart children, and my understanding of biology tells me that marrying an average IQ girl is not the best way to optimize this. The fact that masculinity and IQ don’t always go hand in hand in modern population (rather, there is a lot of evidence around that they are almost always mutually exclusive) doesn’t make the task any easier as the only reliable way to get a smart feminine girl that I’m aware of is to make sure she has a smart masculine father.

I might be a victim to a small sample size here though, and I’m not entirely sure where the chicken and the egg are in this particular dynamic. Is it that average IQ girls innately understand that the only agency they have for attracting mates is their beauty and feminine energy, and thus work hard on maximizing these, and smart girls let themselves be deceived by the social propaganda of “smart is the new sexy”, or is it that smarts and femininity are uncorrelated? I guess I now have no choice but to bang more girls to figure this one out. And I can always say I’m doing it for the science! “Increasing my sample size and shit.”

Anyway, back to the girls part. This year, for the first time in my life, I’ve finally started to feel on a really deep level that I don’t actually need women. That is, women stopped being the #1 priority for me, and I don’t give much fucks if I end up without a single FB for the time being. This was pretty liberating, as it freed up my mental resources for other pursuits, which I plan to work harder on in 2017. I have no plans to stop chasing skirt though.

And just as it’s been in the last two years, despite the low number of approaches I did (less than 200, probably somewhere in 120-150 range), and the low number of notches, I’ve still seen an increase in quality of the girls I’m fucking. I’m making progress, my brain is slowly rewiring itself, and the next year will likely be even better.

Also this year I did another spartan experiment, and I must admit I had to end it prematurely. After several weeks of non-stop approaches something clicked, and I started going on dates every single day. This in turn made me even more effective in the fields, but there was one problem. I couldn’t work anymore, and I constantly was in “accelerated” state, as we call it here. That is, very positive, open and social, but unable to concentrate. My work took a hit, and I was feeling as if the life I was living wasn’t my own. I stopped going out soon afterwards. I plan to do it again this year, want to see how far I could take it.

Looking back at my path to where I’m at now, it’s pretty funny. I’ve first heard about pickup when I was 20. I started doing it when I was 25. I’m now approaching 30 and I’m finally at peace with where I’m at in this area of my life. It took almost 10 years for me, but it can definitely be done waaaay faster.

 

Career

I’ve spent most of my energy this year on work, and it did pay off. I’m an engineering manager right now, and after having been doing this for almost a year, I’ve finally understood what all this “management” is about. And I must admit that my pickup practice has helped me tremendously. Basically, after practicing pickup with a reasonable devotion for some time, you learn a bunch of skills that are applicable in every area of your life. You name it, pickup teaches it.

Sales? Check. In pickup, you are the goods, and you’re selling yourself every single time you’re hitting on a girl. Thanks to sales practice in pickup, I was able to attract the best talent to my team, as hiring is also about selling yourself, only this time as a future boss of a prospective candidate.

Courage? Check. Fighting AA takes some balls, and if you have none, you’ll have no options but to grow a pair once you start approaching. After hitting on random chicks on the streets, being thrown to speak before a hostile audience of some 500 software devs willing to nitpick you to death looks like child’s play. Seriously, public speaking came easy to me, even when the audience didn’t like what I was saying. As it turns out, even in an argument against several hundred angry software devs, the one who holds the frame still wins. Remember how Trump won the elections?

This brings us to frame control. Pickup teaches you to sense where the frame is, and to subtly manipulate it in your favor. Most people are completely oblivious to this dynamic. After enough practice you start doing it on autopilot, easily imposing your frame on other people and ultimately making them do what you need to be done. It works especially well on women, as in this case you can also throw all your game in.

Honesty with oneself? Check. By forcing you into the streets, pickup presses you hard into facing the reality. If you want to improve, you have no options but to accept the facts that the reality is throwing at you, and work from there. Delusional gammas never get laid, and women are super good at sniffing out your weak spots that you’re hiding even from yourself. So if you suck with women, it usually means that you also suck at life in general, and you have to accept this fact before moving forward. And getting over it gives you like +100 bonus to your introspection skill. Spotting your weak spots after that becomes easy, and thus makes it easy for you to fix them.

Style? Check. The first thing that a decent PUA coach will make you do is maximize your looks. And if he doesn’t, going through the acceptance of the fact that you suck will still make you realize that you need to max your looks out. Thus, you really have no options.

All of these sum up to what people dub Charisma or Charm. These help with making sure your colleagues like you on emotional level.

What else?

Pickup is a grind, and if you manage to go through it, you’re practicing discipline, which is one of the most important skills in life. There is a quote that I’ve picked up somewhere on the manosphere that sums it up:

One of the most important skills that will bring you to success is being able to do what you don’t want to do when you don’t want to do it. Otherwise you’ll end up doing even more of what you don’t want to do later, in circumstances when you wouldn’t want to do it even more.

The skill this guy is talking about here is discipline. And when looked at from this angle, it becomes clear why it is so important. You’re not hitting on girls now and not working on your game? Well, brace yourself for an unhappy marriage 10 years down the road that will suck you dry of all your energy, and maybe a divorce settlement that will also unburden you from most of the material wealth that you’ve been working so hard at accumulating. You’re not working on improving the metrics that your boss is reporting to the higher management for, playing instead with some piece of code that you find way more interesting? Brace yourself for missing a promotion and spending several more years as a regular developer.

I must admit, my discipline still sucks balls, and for my whole life I’ve mostly been coasting on talent and intelligence. But I guess I’m still way more disciplined than the majority of the population. Needless to say, discipline really helps in career development.

And then there is the last part. Pickup teaches you machiavellianism, even if like me you cannot really spell this word. Pickup is about getting to fuck the girl as quickly as possible, and in some cases this will require a certain dose of duplicity on your part, while at the same time completely believing in your own bullshit. I remember how it struck me first when I heard about a friend inviting a girl to his home to pick up his bike so that they could go out biking. The kicker? He didn’t even have a bike! Still fucked her though. Again, needless to say, this skill helps in career development as long as you don’t overdo it.

Anyway, this was supposed to be a section about my career successes. Let’s try again.

 

Career, seriously!

This year I’ve seen a 2x increase in income, and the trend will likely continue, only with a smaller multiplier. I have also moved completely into management, and I’m not writing much code these days. This is both good and bad, as the resolution to give up complete control over our code base has really freed my hands, but as I’m a natural introvert, I’m really missing the days when I could just code for the whole day without all the meetings. What lies ahead? Likely more cash, more responsibility, and more free time.

I have also finally realized how to make things work in a large team. From developer perspective it seems that all these managers aren’t really doing anything, and this can’t be any farther from the truth.

There was also one problem. I’ve finally realized that I don’t fit in in my company, and I’m also unlikely to fit in anywhere else. I don’t respect (most of) my managers as they’re all blue pill to the bone and when I check out their Facebook profiles I can see “sucker” plastered all over their faces on every single photo. I used to think that this is due to my unresolved issues with my blue pill past, but after looking at it more closely I don’t think this is the case. Just think about taking orders from a gamma and you’ll understand.

What this leaves me with is that if I’m to preserve my sanity and long-term happiness, at some point I’ll have to start my own company. I have no idea what I’ll work on, and I’ll have to spend more time on this in 2017.

And then there is a fact that I simply won’t make my millions working for someone else, and the apartment I want to live in costs north of $1M. So I really have no choice.

 

Common themes

I have also checked out my private journal that I’ve been updating from time to time this year as part of the morning notes ritual. The common themes are lack of discipline, and stress from overwork. These are two areas that I’ll need to work on in 2017.

Not getting stressed from work seems to be pretty tangible, as for the most part of this year I was really pushing myself as I simply wasn’t equipped to deal with all my responsibilities. I’m past this stage now, and I’ve hired several bright guys who I can delegate most of the coding to, so I think this part will resolve itself even if I don’t consciously work on it.

Discipline is a harder topic, as in my case it’s all about the vicious cycles that are hard to break. Getting stressed at work leads to having no free energy, which leads to skipping workouts, which leads to feeling miserable because of it and more stress accumulating. Not a nice combination. The only way to fix this that I can think of is taking proper vacations to recharge. I think I’ll be able to fix this in 2017.

 

What next?

I don’t like New Year’s resolutions, so I don’t think I’m going to do any promises here, I already have enough pressure in my life. But outlining the general areas for improvement will definitely help for the bigger picture.

Easy part first, girls. I do plan to do another spartan experiment with non-stop approaches this year, and I really want to see what lies past the stage that I had to stop at this year. And getting more notches (for the science!) will also be nice, as my notch-count hyena is not yet satisfied.

Health comes second. I’ve skipped way too many workouts this year, and has generally let my health take a hit with all the stress at work. I’ll need to take more care about my regimen, and this is both about workouts, proper sleep and nutrition.

And then there is a big picture of where I want to be in 5 years. I need to be making way more cash than I am now as even getting to $1M net worth will take prohibitively long at my current pace. Even if I move to the US to maximize my cash inflow, it’ll still take another 5 years at least. So I’ll probably have to blackmail my employer this year into paying me more, and start thinking hard about where to move next.

Also finally buying my own apartment in Moscow would be nice, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pull it off this year. But I’ll try.

Quite a lot of stuff to do for one year.

And then there is an even bigger picture for the next 10-20 years, which I yet have no idea how to approach, and which I’m not sure I’ll be able to realize in my lifetime. I’m a bright guy and it bugs me that I’m wasting my smarts on some code that nobody will need in 10 years. That’s too small of a dint on the canvas of mankind’s history. I remember when I was a child I was interested in space travel, fusion power, space elevators, all the cool stuff that SF authors write about. And what I’m seeing mankind doing now is totally contrary to what I believe our goals as a species should be. Pointless wars, raging corruption, criminal misallocation of resources, and general “enjoy the decline” moods among my peers. As somebody has pointed out, one of the biggest disappointments for an INTJ is that if 100% of the population were INTJs we would’ve already started colonizing the galaxy. Instead, we waste our resources inventing laptops with shortcuts for emojis. What a disgrace.

I’m unlikely to start doing anything about it this year, but I need to keep this vision in my head as I believe moving mankind forward is one of the few things really worth spending one’s life on.

The Simulation Argument

the-matrix

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve last posted here, and despite the fact that this a game blog, this post is going to be totally unrelated to game. Because, well, I can. And because I’m not doing much daygame lately, only writing code, planning, and thinking about what the future holds.

I’m going to tell you about the so-called “simulation argument”, an idea that we might actually live in a world simulated by some insanely powerful supercomputer. And some ideas that really thinking it through might lead to.

 

The Simulation Argument, and What Follows

When faced with the questions like “what is life?” and “what am I doing here?”, one inevitably comes all the way to the ultimate question of “why all of this even exists at all?” I was the same, but the first time I seriously took to think about it was around three years ago, right after starting daygame (which shook my world to the core, I must say).

I remember I was reading some short story on the internet that involved simulated realities, unboxing (that’s when the sentients you’re simulating take over your own reality), and, for reasons I don’t remember, Suzymiya Haruhi. I was all wtf about the Suzumiya Haruhi part, but the rest of the story was quite compelling. And I’ve just tried googling for it, and it’s nowhere to be found, what a pity. Anyway. As far as I remember, the plot involved a group of reality-jumpers who were trying to unbox their way into the upper-level reality, the only one that was real. That got me thinking.

Suppose our own reality can be simulated on a sufficiently advanced supercomputer with shitloads of RAM and raw processing power. So far I know nothing that would prevent it from being so. That is, there is nothing in our physical reality that is uncomputable (e.g. we cannot, say, solve a halting problem by manipulating elementary particles in some unusual ways), and the fact that we have Planck length for a minimal distance that can be measured by any means conceivable suggests that space is, in fact, quantized. Of course, there are a lot of arguments against this train of though, but I cannot really discuss them here without getting way too deep into theoretical physics, and this is a game blog. So let’s just pretend our reality can be simulated.

The two blocks you need for the working simulation are the state, which is going to be evolved over time, and the program, which is going to govern the rules by which the state is evolved. For the state, we have positions of all elementary particles in the universe together with their speed, or, if you’re way too into quantum mechanics and/or special relativity, and willing to nitpick at me by asking “which frame are these positions in?” or “elementary particles don’t have positions, didn’t you know that?”, I’ll just say fuck you, this is a goddamn game blog.

What’s left is a program, and let’s say it’s some yet-undiscovered by humanity theory-of-everything, implemented in plain C++.

So given the starting conditions for the observable universe (remember we had a supercomputer with shitloads of RAM?), we could run our simulation all the way into year 13 billion-something, right up to the moment of you reading this line. If you’re being simulated, does that make your experience of reading this post any less real? The answer is no, it doesn’t. It’s pretty damn real for you.

Then, suppose the superbeing responsible for the simulation (let’s call him Jack) decided to visit his buddy Joe to show him some of the funny articles the sentients in the simulation are sharing on the internet. So he stopped the simulation, stored the state on HDD, went to his buddy’s house, plugged the HDD in, and restarted the simulation on Joe’s supercomputer. Will you feel the lag? Will you feel that the simulation has’t been run for a short time? The answer is no, you won’t. You simply have no means to.

Then, suppose the CPU of Jack’s supercomputer broke down, and he decided to just plug in some shitty ARM chip as a replacement, just like the one I have in my iPhone. The simulation now takes forever to compute, but Jack is not in a hurry, so he waits patiently, and the simulation does advance. It just does it, say, 10^1000 times slower. Will you notice the difference? No, you won’t. The subjective time inside the simulation will run at the same speed.

OK, next step. The state that we’ve been talking about is, essentially, just a very large bit string. Pretty much like any file on you PC. Each tick, the bit string is slightly changed by the simulation program, producing the next state. What if Jack decided to shut down the simulation on his home supercomputer, then went to the university lab, logged in into the ubersupercomputer he had there, and started randomly generating and simulating all possible states there, until finally generating and proceeding to simulate the state he’s left at home. Will you notice the difference then? Note that there is no data transfer involved in this case.

What if the supercomputer generated a state of you 1000 ticks into the future? Will you feel the missing 1000 ticks (that’s waaaaay less than one second, by the way)?

What if it was 10^6 ticks into the future? 10^20? 10^100? 10^10000, somewhere in the heat-death-of-the-universe zone? What if Jack turned off the simulation at home, never went to the lab, thrown out his supercomputer and decided never again to play with simulated universes? Will you notice the difference then? If you answered “no” to all of the previous questions, then there is no reason to say “yes” here.

If you’re still not convinced, here is another detail that might help. As stated above, the state of the simulation is basically a binary string. And a binary string is basically a number. It’s just that in our case it’s a really, reaaaaally large number. Thus, what our simulation does, is very simple. Given the first number, it applies the program that advances it by 1 tick, thus getting the next number, and then repeats this process ad infinitum. Thus the simulation is just a sequence of numbers, pretty much like a Fibonacci sequence. Does the Fibonacci sequence get any less real if we don’t compute it? If we compute only the first 1000 elements, do the rest somehow disappear? No, they don’t. They’re just there.

Now comes the mind blower.

Does the Fibonacci sequence become any less real if nobody is really computing it? Does it really need a computer to exist? I bet nobody’s ever computed 10^1000000th element of Fibonacci sequence, but this fact doesn’t make it any less real. It does exist.

So, back to our simulation. What if Jack never had a supercomputer in the first place? What if Jack never existed at all? Does the fact that the simulation was never actually run change anything?

 

The Level IV Multiverse

There were some assumptions here that you might not agree with (mainly about our universe being simulatable), but the rest should be pretty solid. What this leads to is that for our universe to exist, it doesn’t really have to “exist” anywhere, as a simulation or in some other form. Just the fact that it can be described by math makes it real.

The next step to take is to understand that all other possible universes, with different starting conditions and different programs governing the state transitions, are just as real. That’s Max Tegmark’s Level IV multiverse consisting of all universes which can be described by different mathematical structures.

So here you have it. You’re just a piece of math that doesn’t even exist anywhere in a sense you’re used to.

 

Game, anyone?

Ok, this is a Game blog, so I had to come full circle.

Back in 2014 I had crippling AA. What sometimes helped me was remembering the conclusions drawn from the Simulation Argument. It was pretty much as follows:

  1. Vlad sees a hot girl. AA starts creeping in.
  2. Vlad remembers that he’s just a piece of math that doesn’t even exist anywhere.
  3. Reinvigorated with his newfound understanding of the Universe, Vlad runs up to the hot girl with a wide IDGAF grin plastered on his face.
  4. PROFIT!

However, for this to work, you need to really believe on a deep level in the conclusions drawn here.

Happy daygaming!