Happy New Year!
It’s January 2017, and a time for the end-of-the-year post.
2016 was a tough year for me, yet I’m confident to say it was also the best year of my life so far. I have achieved a lot, cleaned up a lot of clutter that’s been sitting in my head for a long time, banged several new girls, and started to see a bigger picture for my life. The plans for 2017 are even more ambitious.
First, the girls part. I had only 3 new lays this year. The first one was a very plain co-worker, who I shouldn’t have fucked at all. I remember bringing her home, throwing her on the bed, removing her dress and saying to myself something along the lines of “Oh my fucking God!” There was no turning back at this point though, and since we worked at the same company, I had to fuck her some more afterwards. In the end, after realizing I’m not down for anything but a good fuck once every two weeks, she dumped me, and I felt relieved. There’s really nothing to be proud of here, but I guess I needed this experience to understand that some girls are better left unfucked.
The second one was a nerdy law student I met in August. A cute 21yo who was totally crazy in bed. Unfortunately, in November she decided to put on some more fat, and this was totally turning me off. So after another good fuck I simply stopped calling her.
The third one was a really beautiful seven that I’m still fucking. In terms of the overall qualities I care for in a non-monogamous LTR girl, she’s the best one I’ve ever been with. Very caring, cooks well, does great massages, takes really good care of herself, and, well, looks gorgeous, both dressed and undressed. She’s not super smart though, and this got me thinking.
The most pleasant relationships I’ve ever had were with average IQ girls. These girls seem to perfectly understand that what they’re bringing to the table is looks, sex, and feminine energy, and work hard at maximizing these. Smart girls try to use their smarts as a selling point, but the problem is that, first, I’m still way smarter, and second, for me smarts always come second to their looks and femininity.
This is somewhat worrisome, as I do want to have smart children, and my understanding of biology tells me that marrying an average IQ girl is not the best way to optimize this. The fact that masculinity and IQ don’t always go hand in hand in modern population (rather, there is a lot of evidence around that they are almost always mutually exclusive) doesn’t make the task any easier as the only reliable way to get a smart feminine girl that I’m aware of is to make sure she has a smart masculine father.
I might be a victim to a small sample size here though, and I’m not entirely sure where the chicken and the egg are in this particular dynamic. Is it that average IQ girls innately understand that the only agency they have for attracting mates is their beauty and feminine energy, and thus work hard on maximizing these, and smart girls let themselves be deceived by the social propaganda of “smart is the new sexy”, or is it that smarts and femininity are uncorrelated? I guess I now have no choice but to bang more girls to figure this one out. And I can always say I’m doing it for the science! “Increasing my sample size and shit.”
Anyway, back to the girls part. This year, for the first time in my life, I’ve finally started to feel on a really deep level that I don’t actually need women. That is, women stopped being the #1 priority for me, and I don’t give much fucks if I end up without a single FB for the time being. This was pretty liberating, as it freed up my mental resources for other pursuits, which I plan to work harder on in 2017. I have no plans to stop chasing skirt though.
And just as it’s been in the last two years, despite the low number of approaches I did (less than 200, probably somewhere in 120-150 range), and the low number of notches, I’ve still seen an increase in quality of the girls I’m fucking. I’m making progress, my brain is slowly rewiring itself, and the next year will likely be even better.
Also this year I did another spartan experiment, and I must admit I had to end it prematurely. After several weeks of non-stop approaches something clicked, and I started going on dates every single day. This in turn made me even more effective in the fields, but there was one problem. I couldn’t work anymore, and I constantly was in “accelerated” state, as we call it here. That is, very positive, open and social, but unable to concentrate. My work took a hit, and I was feeling as if the life I was living wasn’t my own. I stopped going out soon afterwards. I plan to do it again this year, want to see how far I could take it.
Looking back at my path to where I’m at now, it’s pretty funny. I’ve first heard about pickup when I was 20. I started doing it when I was 25. I’m now approaching 30 and I’m finally at peace with where I’m at in this area of my life. It took almost 10 years for me, but it can definitely be done waaaay faster.
I’ve spent most of my energy this year on work, and it did pay off. I’m an engineering manager right now, and after having been doing this for almost a year, I’ve finally understood what all this “management” is about. And I must admit that my pickup practice has helped me tremendously. Basically, after practicing pickup with a reasonable devotion for some time, you learn a bunch of skills that are applicable in every area of your life. You name it, pickup teaches it.
Sales? Check. In pickup, you are the goods, and you’re selling yourself every single time you’re hitting on a girl. Thanks to sales practice in pickup, I was able to attract the best talent to my team, as hiring is also about selling yourself, only this time as a future boss of a prospective candidate.
Courage? Check. Fighting AA takes some balls, and if you have none, you’ll have no options but to grow a pair once you start approaching. After hitting on random chicks on the streets, being thrown to speak before a hostile audience of some 500 software devs willing to nitpick you to death looks like child’s play. Seriously, public speaking came easy to me, even when the audience didn’t like what I was saying. As it turns out, even in an argument against several hundred angry software devs, the one who holds the frame still wins. Remember how Trump won the elections?
This brings us to frame control. Pickup teaches you to sense where the frame is, and to subtly manipulate it in your favor. Most people are completely oblivious to this dynamic. After enough practice you start doing it on autopilot, easily imposing your frame on other people and ultimately making them do what you need to be done. It works especially well on women, as in this case you can also throw all your game in.
Honesty with oneself? Check. By forcing you into the streets, pickup presses you hard into facing the reality. If you want to improve, you have no options but to accept the facts that the reality is throwing at you, and work from there. Delusional gammas never get laid, and women are super good at sniffing out your weak spots that you’re hiding even from yourself. So if you suck with women, it usually means that you also suck at life in general, and you have to accept this fact before moving forward. And getting over it gives you like +100 bonus to your introspection skill. Spotting your weak spots after that becomes easy, and thus makes it easy for you to fix them.
Style? Check. The first thing that a decent PUA coach will make you do is maximize your looks. And if he doesn’t, going through the acceptance of the fact that you suck will still make you realize that you need to max your looks out. Thus, you really have no options.
All of these sum up to what people dub Charisma or Charm. These help with making sure your colleagues like you on emotional level.
Pickup is a grind, and if you manage to go through it, you’re practicing discipline, which is one of the most important skills in life. There is a quote that I’ve picked up somewhere on the manosphere that sums it up:
One of the most important skills that will bring you to success is being able to do what you don’t want to do when you don’t want to do it. Otherwise you’ll end up doing even more of what you don’t want to do later, in circumstances when you wouldn’t want to do it even more.
The skill this guy is talking about here is discipline. And when looked at from this angle, it becomes clear why it is so important. You’re not hitting on girls now and not working on your game? Well, brace yourself for an unhappy marriage 10 years down the road that will suck you dry of all your energy, and maybe a divorce settlement that will also unburden you from most of the material wealth that you’ve been working so hard at accumulating. You’re not working on improving the metrics that your boss is reporting to the higher management for, playing instead with some piece of code that you find way more interesting? Brace yourself for missing a promotion and spending several more years as a regular developer.
I must admit, my discipline still sucks balls, and for my whole life I’ve mostly been coasting on talent and intelligence. But I guess I’m still way more disciplined than the majority of the population. Needless to say, discipline really helps in career development.
And then there is the last part. Pickup teaches you machiavellianism, even if like me you cannot really spell this word. Pickup is about getting to fuck the girl as quickly as possible, and in some cases this will require a certain dose of duplicity on your part, while at the same time completely believing in your own bullshit. I remember how it struck me first when I heard about a friend inviting a girl to his home to pick up his bike so that they could go out biking. The kicker? He didn’t even have a bike! Still fucked her though. Again, needless to say, this skill helps in career development as long as you don’t overdo it.
Anyway, this was supposed to be a section about my career successes. Let’s try again.
This year I’ve seen a 2x increase in income, and the trend will likely continue, only with a smaller multiplier. I have also moved completely into management, and I’m not writing much code these days. This is both good and bad, as the resolution to give up complete control over our code base has really freed my hands, but as I’m a natural introvert, I’m really missing the days when I could just code for the whole day without all the meetings. What lies ahead? Likely more cash, more responsibility, and more free time.
I have also finally realized how to make things work in a large team. From developer perspective it seems that all these managers aren’t really doing anything, and this can’t be any farther from the truth.
There was also one problem. I’ve finally realized that I don’t fit in in my company, and I’m also unlikely to fit in anywhere else. I don’t respect (most of) my managers as they’re all blue pill to the bone and when I check out their Facebook profiles I can see “sucker” plastered all over their faces on every single photo. I used to think that this is due to my unresolved issues with my blue pill past, but after looking at it more closely I don’t think this is the case. Just think about taking orders from a gamma and you’ll understand.
What this leaves me with is that if I’m to preserve my sanity and long-term happiness, at some point I’ll have to start my own company. I have no idea what I’ll work on, and I’ll have to spend more time on this in 2017.
And then there is a fact that I simply won’t make my millions working for someone else, and the apartment I want to live in costs north of $1M. So I really have no choice.
I have also checked out my private journal that I’ve been updating from time to time this year as part of the morning notes ritual. The common themes are lack of discipline, and stress from overwork. These are two areas that I’ll need to work on in 2017.
Not getting stressed from work seems to be pretty tangible, as for the most part of this year I was really pushing myself as I simply wasn’t equipped to deal with all my responsibilities. I’m past this stage now, and I’ve hired several bright guys who I can delegate most of the coding to, so I think this part will resolve itself even if I don’t consciously work on it.
Discipline is a harder topic, as in my case it’s all about the vicious cycles that are hard to break. Getting stressed at work leads to having no free energy, which leads to skipping workouts, which leads to feeling miserable because of it and more stress accumulating. Not a nice combination. The only way to fix this that I can think of is taking proper vacations to recharge. I think I’ll be able to fix this in 2017.
I don’t like New Year’s resolutions, so I don’t think I’m going to do any promises here, I already have enough pressure in my life. But outlining the general areas for improvement will definitely help for the bigger picture.
Easy part first, girls. I do plan to do another spartan experiment with non-stop approaches this year, and I really want to see what lies past the stage that I had to stop at this year. And getting more notches (for the science!) will also be nice, as my notch-count hyena is not yet satisfied.
Health comes second. I’ve skipped way too many workouts this year, and has generally let my health take a hit with all the stress at work. I’ll need to take more care about my regimen, and this is both about workouts, proper sleep and nutrition.
And then there is a big picture of where I want to be in 5 years. I need to be making way more cash than I am now as even getting to $1M net worth will take prohibitively long at my current pace. Even if I move to the US to maximize my cash inflow, it’ll still take another 5 years at least. So I’ll probably have to blackmail my employer this year into paying me more, and start thinking hard about where to move next.
Also finally buying my own apartment in Moscow would be nice, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pull it off this year. But I’ll try.
Quite a lot of stuff to do for one year.
And then there is an even bigger picture for the next 10-20 years, which I yet have no idea how to approach, and which I’m not sure I’ll be able to realize in my lifetime. I’m a bright guy and it bugs me that I’m wasting my smarts on some code that nobody will need in 10 years. That’s too small of a dint on the canvas of mankind’s history. I remember when I was a child I was interested in space travel, fusion power, space elevators, all the cool stuff that SF authors write about. And what I’m seeing mankind doing now is totally contrary to what I believe our goals as a species should be. Pointless wars, raging corruption, criminal misallocation of resources, and general “enjoy the decline” moods among my peers. As somebody has pointed out, one of the biggest disappointments for an INTJ is that if 100% of the population were INTJs we would’ve already started colonizing the galaxy. Instead, we waste our resources inventing laptops with shortcuts for emojis. What a disgrace.
I’m unlikely to start doing anything about it this year, but I need to keep this vision in my head as I believe moving mankind forward is one of the few things really worth spending one’s life on.